एक और मेरा माज़ी है जिससे मैं बेहद नाराज़ हूँ| आज़ाद मुस्तकबिल की चाह में जाने कबसे बेकरार हूँ| ये पूछती हूँ अक्सर इस राह पर पहुँचने पे, क्या मैं कोई ख़त्म हुआ इंतज़ार हूँ? खुद की ज़िन्दगी से मै क्या वाकई वफादार हूँ ?

​Recently I was watching a short film Pinjra. It hit very hard and made me think about the visible and invisible cages we Indian girls enter and keep bound, sometimes without even realising. while reading another Article the writer was asked some uncomfortable questions by her German friend. The plethora of questions ranged like . ‘Did you have a love marriage or did your parents arrange for one?’ ‘What happens if you don’t find someone? Do your parents, anyways insist on finding the right guy for you?’ ‘Do your in-laws approve of you living alone in Germany?‘ ‘Is it safe for females to go out?’ What happens if you have pre-marital sex? Do you tell people or hide it?’ ‘Can you remarry when you are divorced?’ These were complex questions to answer.

Somewhere in the whole conversation, she did not want to sound like somebody who criticized India and made it out to be the worst place for women. So she took the constitutional route, emphasizing that even if socially you find many things awkward and oppressive, India guarantees constitutional rights.

 I could feel myself struggling to find  the right answers.

Image Credits: Amrita Sher-Gil- Self-Portrait as Tahitian (1934)

I am lucky to be born in a family that made my life easier by being non-intrusive and supportive in equal breadth. I did not have to oscillate between the moral dilemmas of Indian womanhood as often. But it is not as simple as that. I guess many – from siblings to relatives to parents to husbands to boyfriends to neighbors to strangers – take it for granted and preach on a manual of ‘a good charactered’ life. Everybody else seems to know what is best for you, but you! The cacophony of these social messages feeds the psyche with a vicious cycle of guilt, self-doubt, and self-deprecation.

That German friend finally said, ‘It must be really tough being a female in India.’ It just hit me hard and all my struggles flashed peering through ‘the thick-skin’ – my conditioned immune system. I could not agree more with what she said. against the whacks of all these opinions, judgments, remarks and attempts of abuse – physical or emotional. In the life-long struggle between succumbing and fighting, breathing and suffocating, resisting and surrendering; one has to be thick-skinned to find their own voice as a female. Some do but many don’t. And yes, it is true. . Married or single, widowed or divorced, young or old, virgin or non-virgin, menstruating or menopausal; .

Then I watched this video ”Pinjra” (The Cage).

“एक और मेरा माज़ी है जिससे मैं बेहद नाराज़ हूँ| आज़ाद मुस्तकबिल की चाह में जाने कबसे बेकरार हूँ| ये पूछती हूँ अक्सर इस राह पर पहुँचने पे, क्या मैं कोई ख़त्म हुआ इंतज़ार हूँ? खुद की ज़िन्दगी से मै क्या वाकई वफादार हूँ ?” (From the video Pinjra: A short movie)

Hai ajeeb shahr ki zindagi – Bashir badr

 

Hai ajeeb shahr ki zindagi na safar raha na qayaam hai
Kahin karobar si dophar kahin badmizaj si shaam hai

Kahan ab duaon ki barkatein wo naseehatein wo hidayatein
Ye zaroraton ka khuloos hai ye mataalbon ka salaam hai

Yun hi roz milne ki aarzo badi rakh rakhao ki guftgu
Ye sharaafatein nahin be gharaz use aapse koi kaam hai

Wo dilom mein aag lagaayega mein dilon ki aag bujhaunga
Use apne kaam se kaam hai mujhe apne kaam se kaam hai

Na udaas ho na malaal kar kisi baat ka na khyal kar
kai saal baad mile hain ham tire naam aaj ki shaam hai

Koi naghmadhoop key gaon sa koi naghma shaamki chhaon sa
Zara in parindon se poochhna ye kalaam kis ka kalaam hai

legend BASHIR BADR

Mohabbaton mein dikhawe ki dosti na mila
Agar gale nahin milta to haath bhi na mila

Gharon pe naam they, naamon key saath ohde they
Bahut talaash kiya koi aadmi na mila

Tamaam rishton ko main ghar pe chhod aaya tha
Phir uske baad mujhe koi ajnabi na mila

Khuda ki itni badi kaaynat mein maine
Bas eik shakhs ko manga mujhe wohi na mila

Bahut ajeeb hai ye qurbaton ki doori bhi
Wo mere saath raha aur mujhe kabhi na mila

BASHIR BADR – A WRITER THAT CAN TOUCH YOUR SOUL AT A VERY DIFFERENT LEVEL AND SHAKE TO WORLD OF REALITY.

Parakhna mat parakhne mein koi apna nahin rahta
Kisi bhi aine mein der tak chehra nahin rahta

Bade logon se milne mein hamesha faslaa rakhna
Jahan dariya samandar me mile dariya nahin rahta

Hazaaron sher mere so gaye kaghaz ki qabron mein
Ajab maan hun koi bachcha mera zinda nahin rahta

Tumhara shehr to bilkul naye andaz wala hai
Hamare shehr mein bhi koi hamsa nahin rahta

Mohabbat ek khushboo hai hamesha saath chalti hai
Koi insaan tanhai mein bhi tanha nahin rahta

Koi badal hare mausam ka phie elaan karta hai
Khiza ke baag me jab ek bhi patta nahi rahta

Bashir Badr

EACH LINE OF THIS GAZAL IS LIKE A JOLT TO REALITY. THE DEPTH OF THOUGHT IS UNSURPASSABLE. ….. PARAKHNA MAT PARAKHNE ME KOI APNA NHI REHTA…THE MOMENT WE TEST OTHERS WE OURSELVES SEPARATE ONESELF FROM THAT PERSON. CAN YOU TEST OTHER WITHOUT SUSPECTING. FURTHER THERE IS COMPLETE CHANCE THAT THE PERSON WHO TEST MAY TURN OUT TO BE A FAKE SUPPORT, THEN WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU IS SHATTERING. NEXT LINE SUMS UP ALL SELF HELP ON THIS PLANET– DARIYA AGAR SAMUNDAR SE MIL JAYE TO DARIYA NHI REHTA …WE ALL ARE PECULIAR ABOUT RETAINING OUR OWN IDENTITY …I DO NOT WICH TO LIVE MY LIFE ACCORDING TO OTHER PERSON, THAT IS WHY MOST OF US WANT SOMEONE WITH WHOM WE CAN BLEND BUT STILL RETAIN OUR OWN UNIQUENESS.

 

How true…

​Jerry Zucker
“Nobody else is paying as much attention to your failures as you are. You’re the only ones who are obsessed with the importance of your own life. To everyone else, it’s just a blip on the radar screen, so just move on.” – University of Wisconsin, 2003

A married woman

​I look around and wonder why do people look at a married woman differently ?
She might look better dressed, maybe wearing an ornament or two, that mark her married. But she’s still a girl at heart; sindoor and bindi don’t make her a woman. She may still be learning how to run a home; she still might be struggling to taking care of not just herself but two or more people.
She might not always like to hear ‘what does your husband do ?’…
Marriage doesn’t suddenly turn a girl into a woman.
For that matter having kids

doesn’t necessarily do the same either.
Celebrate who she really is;
celebrate the child in her; she may be anyone around you, ur friend, ur sister, ur mother, a total stranger.
She’s not supposed to be responsible for innumerous things, countless chores; it’s just her desire for perfection that she does what she does.
This is for every wonderful woman I know.
Grow up… but take your own sweet time & let the li’l girl in you live forever.
And for all my male friends… cherish her, love her and most importantly let her be… She wasn’t born to take care of you, it’s her heart that makes her do so.
– An Article by Chetan Bhagat

Now a useful post … We all must know how to recognise a stroke. It is easy and important as we can save someone’s life with little information.

​Stroke has a new indicator! Read and pass on….

 

Stroke has a new indicator 

Stroke – They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue
STROKE: Remember the 1st Three Letters…..

S. T. R. 

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall – she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) …she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.
They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.
Jane’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital – (at 6:00 PM Jane passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this.
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough. 
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the ‘3’ steps, STR. Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three (3) simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)

(i.e. Chicken Soup)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke ——– Stick out Your Tongue!
NOTE: Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is this: Ask the person to ‘stick’ out his tongue. If the tongue is

‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.
A cardiologist says if everyone knows about it then cases of stroke will decline sharply. Let’s educate ourselves.

Ayn Rand is one of most favorite authors.

This quote of her’s has always impacted me deeply. It points towards our limited thinking and acceptance. We don’t respect others as they are but try to find what we seek in them . If the person concur with the image we have set for that person then it’s fine else we start finding faults in that person. we are also culprits to demeaning individuality of each one of us , if try to influence others to conform to those set standards we accept.

Meaning and value of life

​एक आदमी ने भगवान बुद्ध  से पुछा : जीवन का मूल्य क्या है?
बुद्ध  ने उसे एक Stone दिया और कहा : जा और इस stone का 

मूल्य पता करके आ , लेकिन ध्यान रखना stone को बेचना नही है I
वह आदमी stone को बाजार मे एक संतरे वाले के पास लेकर गया और बोला : इसकी कीमत क्या है?
संतरे वाला चमकीले stone को देखकर बोला, “12 संतरे लेजा और इसे मुझे दे जा” 
आगे एक सब्जी वाले ने उस चमकीले stone को देखा और कहा 

“एक बोरी आलू ले जा और इस stone को मेरे पास छोड़ जा”
आगे एक सोना बेचने वाले के 

पास गया उसे stone दिखाया सुनार उस चमकीले stone को देखकर बोला,  “50 लाख मे बेच दे” l 
उसने मना कर दिया तो सुनार बोला “2 करोड़ मे दे दे या बता इसकी कीमत जो माँगेगा वह दूँगा तुझे.. 
उस आदमी ने सुनार से कहा मेरे गुरू ने इसे बेचने से मना किया है l
आगे हीरे बेचने वाले एक जौहरी के पास गया उसे stone दिखाया l 
जौहरी ने जब उस बेसकीमती रुबी को देखा , तो पहले उसने रुबी के पास एक लाल कपडा बिछाया फिर उस बेसकीमती रुबी की परिक्रमा लगाई माथा टेका l 
फिर जौहरी बोला , “कहा से लाया है ये बेसकीमती रुबी? सारी कायनात , सारी दुनिया को बेचकर भी इसकी कीमत नही लगाई जा सकती ये तो बेसकीमती है l”
वह आदमी हैरान परेशान होकर सीधे बुद्ध  के पास आया l 
अपनी आप बिती बताई और बोला “अब बताओ भगवान , मानवीय जीवन का मूल्य क्या है?
 बुद्ध  बोले :
संतरे वाले को दिखाया उसने इसकी कीमत “12 संतरे” की बताई l
सब्जी वाले के पास गया उसने इसकी कीमत “1 बोरी आलू” बताई l
आगे सुनार ने “2 करोड़” बताई lऔर जौहरी ने इसे “बेसकीमती” बताया l
अब ऐसा ही मानवीय मूल्य का भी है l
तू बेशक हीरा है..!!लेकिन, सामने वाला तेरी कीमत, 

अपनी औकात – अपनी जानकारी –  अपनी हैसियत से लगाएगा। 
घबराओ मत दुनिया में.. तुझे पहचानने वाले भी मिल जायेगे।
Respect Yourself,

You are very Unique and awesome just wait for right person who can value you.

Philosophical explanation of Mahabharat.

​It is said in the texts that 80% of the fighting male population of the civilization was wiped out in the eighteen days Mahabharata war.
Sanjay, at the end of the war went to the spot where the greatest war took place; Kurukshetra.
He looked around and wondered if the war really happened, if the ground beneath him had soaked all that blood, if the great Pandavas and Krishna stood where he stood.
“You will never know the truth about that!” said an aging soft voice.
Sanjay turned around to find an Old man in saffron robes appearing out of a column of dust. 
“I know you are here to find out about the Kurukshetra war, but *you cannot know about that war till you know what the real war is about*.” the Old man said enigmatically.
“What do you mean?” 
*The Mahabharata is an Epic, a ballad, perhaps a reality, but definitely a philosophy*.
The Old man smiled luring Sanjay into more questions.
“Can you tell me what the philosophy is then?” 

Sanjay requested.
Sure, began the Old man. 
*The Pandavas are nothing but your five senses*, 

sight, 

smell, 

taste, 

touch 

and sound…, 
and do you know what the *Kauravas* are?

 he asked narrowing his eyes. 
 *The Kauravas are the hundred vices that attack your senses everyday but you can fight them*… and do you know how?
Sanjay shook his head again.
“When Krishna rides your chariot!”

 

The Old man smiled brighter and Sanjay gasped at that gem of insight.
*Krishna is your inner voice, your soul, your guiding light and if you let your life in his hands you have nothing to worry*.
Sanjay was stupefied but came around quickly with another question.
“Then *why are Dronacharya and Bhishma fighting for the Kauravas, if they are vices*?”
The Old man nodded, sadder for the question. 
It just means that as you grow up, your perception of your elders change. *The elders who you thought were perfect in your growing up years are not all that perfect. They have faults. And one day you will have to decide if they are for your good or your bad.  Then you may also realize that you may have to fight them for the good. It is the hardest part of growing up and that is why the Geeta is important*.
Sanjay slumped down on the ground, not because he was tired but because he could understand and was struck by  the enormity of it all. 
 *What about Karna*? he whispered.
“Ah!” said the Old man. “You have saved the best for last. *Karna is the brother to your senses, he is desire, he is a part of you but stands with the vices. He feels wronged and makes excuses for being with the vices as your desire does all the time.*
 *Does your desire not give you excuses to embrace vices*?”
Sanjay nodded silently. He looked at the ground, consumed with a million thoughts, trying to put everything together and then when he looked up the Old man was gone…. 

disappeared in the column of dust………leaving behind the great philosophy of Life.

Is it not what we all are looking for and still don’t want to accept. It is philosophy which is needed to see through maze of life … It is the ethical as well practical way to find right way.